Purple is the colour of Thailand
Smelling the sweet fragrances of all things Thai; the orchids,
the flowers and the subtle smells of incenses that smoulder from
the Buddhist temples whilst self-indulging the sounds of those
temple bells that chime to an ever degree of melancholy. I
realized why the colour of Thailand must be purple. Purple
delights in all flavours of attitude and existence, like my own
existence; it holds the power to everything yet the power of
nothing. A spiritual enlightenment-that will seek only those who
seek it. So there I was on that late afternoon in Bangkok. I,
struggling with the feelings of melancholy and somewhat regret
with the City of Angels, that defiantly spoke out against me as
if to say told you so.
I was completely at fault with this. We had been chatting just
recently, laughing-exchanging thoughts, dreams and ideas of the
future. And now nothingness, I had come to the City of Angels in
search of Suriporn- the ideal girl who I thought could be part of
my life but regrettably was slowly becoming a distant memory and
now a distant lie which I had foolishly believed. Suriporn was,
no, is, a girl who I had met on a Thai dating website. A dating
site that I had pondered the idea of joining for months before,
then finally taking the plunge and contacting someone who I
thought could be something special, someone new. She had replied
to my messages and as she did, I noticed how her prose (although
not perfect English) seemed to dance for me between the lines.
When we exchanged photos and it seemed that with those eyes-like
pools of dark emeralds were actually talking to me. I was
besotted. And I thought she was too.
So we decided to meet finally. Days of trepidation, fear and
anticipation loomed before my arrival. I had spoken to her by
phone and by pc, and it hadn't occurred to me to ask for her
address. We had conjured something far more romantic, a solitary
meeting outside the walls of the stone Wat Po temple in Bangkok.
Bringing me back to where I am now. Children played by the green
lawns next to the temple, girls and boys seemed to enjoy a
carefree game of what seemed a combination of dance and play.
Whilst the Buddhist monks prayed in an interminable silence and
servitude. Dating couples of birds of all colors danced from the
trees to near where I waited, sitting next to me and greeting me
each time I came to this spot. Envy is not a word I wanted to use
to describe my feelings now. 10:00 am on the morning of October
on the tenth day of this month, to symbolize the time and day we
first found each other a year before. This was to be the day that
we'd first meet. But alas, my Suriporn never came, her phone was
down, PC down and dating site silence.
My days are now filled with anxiety. I wait by the shrine each
morning as we had planned-waiting hours, sometimes all day until
the sun gently nestles behind the walls of my temple. Are you
here Suriporn or were you just a dream?
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